Fall 2009: Jake and Nancy learned that Nancy's breast cancer was stage four. Winter 2013: They are still fighting. This is a gathering place to follow their story, offer support, love and prayers... to be by their side.



Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Remembering Nancy

Nancy's obituary ran in Sunday's Seattle Times. You can find the remembrance with an online guest book via this link.

Additionally, the Seattle Mariners posted this touching entry on their blog.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Memorial Donations for Nancy

Nancy and I had discussed her desires for those who wanted to make a donation in her memory. The 4 organizations listed below all had special meaning to her. This document, Donation Info - In Memory of Nancy Haunty, provides instructions for making a donation in Nancy’s memory to each organization.
  • The True Family Women’s Cancer Center / Swedish Cancer Institute / Swedish Medical Center Foundation - For the past 13 years, the Swedish Cancer Institute was more than an institution where Nancy received comprehensive and expert care. The staff and physicians were more like a medical family where she felt loved and in whom she felt a genuine trust.
  • Team Survivor Northwest - Prior to her introduction to Team Survivor Northwest (TSNW), Nancy did not consider herself to be athletic, and she was intimidated by the thought of a fitness routine or athletic goal. TSNW initially supplied her with support, structure, and encouragement; and it ultimately helped her develop confidence and meaningful relationships with other women cancer survivors. We’ll always be inspired by Nancy’s determination to achieve her goals, whether they are running multiple 1/2 marathons or summiting Mount Adams.
  • Harborview Mission of Caring Fund - Nancy personified kindness, grace, and charity. She felt a foundational connection with Harborview Medical Center’s core values and an incredible sense of pride in working for UW Medicine in support of that compassionate mission.
  • Street Youth Ministries - Her compassion and desire to put her faith to action led Nancy to volunteer for SYM prior to her initial breast cancer diagnosis. In SYM, Nancy was struck by unconditional love shown to these kids while ministering to their immediate and long-term needs.

Thank you for considering a donation in Nancy’s memory to one of these or another charitable organization of your desire. And I’d like to thank Nancy’s friend, Pam Davies, for pulling this all together.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Nancy's Memorial Service

The memorial service celebrating Nancy's life will be held at 1:00pm on Thursday, June 2, 2016 at University Presbyterian Church in Seattle. The church is located at 4540 15th Ave NE, Seattle, WA 98105.

If you will be traveling from out of town to attend, please contact Luanne Skow (luanne.skow@yahoo.com) at your earliest convenience.


Saturday, May 14, 2016

Nancy is Finally Resting

This is so difficult for me to write. Not just because each word is soaked in sadness. It’s hard because I realize that these words will result in a profound grief across a community of wonderful people who shared a deep admiration for a truly beautiful soul.

Nancy passed away last evening. Nancy was comfortable up to her final breath, and after that breath she left us with a smile that was indescribably beautiful. With it, she was giving me assurance that she had reached the peace that, as she had quoted a week before, transcends all understanding.

We will have an opportunity to celebrate, as a community, Nancy’s beautiful soul. In the coming days, we’ll be scheduling and organizing a celebration service. I will post details about the logistics here on the blog as they emerge. I’m anticipating it to be 10 - 14 days out.

If you are moved express your feelings in the form of flowers or some other gift of sentiment, Nancy preferred that you consider a donation in her memory to one of a few organizations that had great meaning to her. I’ll add a post to the blog with information about those organizations.

As one might imagine, I’m overwhelmed with a variety of feelings and emotions. But right now my predominant feeling is a deep sense of gratitude. I sincerely thank you all for your continual prayers, encouragement, thoughts, and love. You all made certain that Nancy knew how adored and admired she was.


Thank you.

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Sleeping By Nancy's Side

This is my fourth attempt to write a blog update today. Nancy is comfortable and sleeping. She has crossed a threshold and moved into her final stages where she is unable to talk or move. I slept on a cot beside her last night, stroking her hand and reminding her how intensely loved she is. At one point, I told her I was picturing the faces of all those who share a profound love for her. My heart was warmed as I reflected on this. 

Dr. Rinn just came by the room to check on Nancy. The doctor-patient relationship they’ve shared for nearly 14 years is filled with an amazing love. After she finished her visit, she walked over to my side of the bed for a tear-filled embrace.


Now that I’ve written the post, I’m going to set up the cot as an extension of Nancy’s hospital bed; I’m going to crawl into our bed; and I’m going to cherish every moment of it.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Resting Comfortably

Nancy remains in the hospital, and she is comfortable. She’s been comfortable throughout her time here. Her doctors and the hospital staff have continuously made adjustments to maintain her comfort. Nancy is in the oncology unit, and the nurses almost exclusively care for cancer patients who are undergoing treatment. Nancy has less complex needs than the other patients here, but that does not diminish at all the level of attention and care they are providing. She is not awake very much, but I think her interactions with care staff has won them over. They see her sweetness and selflessness, and I see them care for her with great love.

With each day, Nancy rests more and more. We don’t have as many chances to talk, but she consistently hears how much she is cherished by me and by our friends and family. She knows it, but I like to remind her and she seems touched by it every time. We are expecting Nancy to stay in the hospital for the duration, and I know for certain that she is most comfortable with that plan. We’ve always considered our home to be our sanctuary and the place we love most in the world. But when we came back to the hospital last week, I noticed the sense of relief she had knowing that her oncologist, Dr. Rinn, was right around the corner and the care team was always present. That relief allowed her to be more comfortable, and it has allowed us to spend some precious time together. I’m spending the nights back at home, but I’ve been leaving her phone on the table beside her in case she needs to talk. I didn’t expect her to be able to call me, so it was an incredible surprise to get her call at ~4am Sunday morning. She was hoping I could come in to give her some reassurance from the confusion and dreams she was having. Of course I jumped at the opportunity. I think she is beyond the ability to call me now, but I plan on leaving her phone anyhow.


During one of her infrequent periods of attentiveness over the weekend, Nancy started talking about the love she felt from our community of friends and family. She talked about being lifted up and carried by that love. I truly believe that feeling remains with her during her dreams.

Friday, May 6, 2016

Inspiring Glitter

It’s Jake again with another update. Nancy spent her second night in the hospital last night, and it was a restful one. I’m afraid that I over-scheduled yesterday with 2 pastoral care visits with ministers from our church, University Presbyterian…actually one of them has moved on to a new church, but we have a history with him. Both visits were incredibly comforting to both Nancy and me. I was amazed at her lucidity while debating her favorite apostle, New Testament letter, and verse. You see, with the pain meds, she drifts in and out of her dreams and frequently brings the dreams with her when she wakes up. Seeing her so engaged and passionate while meeting with the pastors gave me an incredible sense of peace. In spite of the meds, Nancy remains aware of the situation. She acknowledged to the pastors some level of fear of what comes next, but she expressed a greater level comfort in her journey to come where a peace that transcends all understanding awaits her. Nancy also discussed how the deep and vast love she feels from the multitude of friends and family gives her a confident comfort. And this comfort serves as her companion on the path through the fear. She is concerned about the feelings of loss, loneliness, and deep sadness all of us will feel. Nancy’s selflessness, one of her core characteristics, easily cuts through her pain medications and hallucinations.

Because of Nancy’s exhaustion, her dear friend Wendy and I are taking shifts today sitting beside her while she sleeps. During Nancy’s 6-1/2 years of chemotherapy treatment, Wendy has re-arranged her busy schedule to make sure she can join Nancy for her appointments and her infusion treatments. Most staff in the clinic and treatment center think they’re sisters…and they practically are.

Everyone suggests to me that I sleep at home and that I make sure I’m rested and functioning, so I’m heeding the advice. The highlight of the past 2 days for me was the opportunity to get to the hospital early and eat breakfast with Nancy. She’s been awake and alert both days, and we have a chance to talk and spend time together. Yesterday, I decided to read to her the latest batch of cards. I read her one card from an online friend from the www.breastcancer.org patient support group. The friend, from California, talked about how much she has always appreciated Nancy’s willingness to honestly and constructively share with those women in earlier chapters of their cancer journeys her experiences with various treatments, drug side effects, payor questions (Nancy’s profession helped her!) in an incredibly supportive way. After reading the touching note, I handed it to her and told her, “Nancy, do you know that you inspire a LOT of people?” As she examined the beautiful and sparkly card, she responded with, “I inspire a lot of glitter.”


It was pretty adorable…and true! Nancy continues to inspire us in all aspects, and she has inspired an outpouring of glitter.
The Inspiration for Inspiring Glitter

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

In the Hospital Again

Jake here with another update. Since the last post, I’ve drafted 2 separate updates. I haven’t published them because Nancy’s status has changed. After returning home last Thursday, Nancy was initially comfortable. Her only complaint was the pressure or tightness in her abdomen, but the continuous IV pain medications seemed to manage that fairly well. Over the weekend she was pushing the button for additional medication fairly frequently, so a hospice nurse came out to increase the continuous dose. She continued needing more meds to feel comfortable through Tuesday morning, and we increased the continuous dose once again. Nancy had a pretty rough night last night…she was up every couple of hours and continued to be uncomfortable. The hospice nurse came by this morning to increase the dose yet again. Ultimately, Nancy’s doctor felt another stay in the hospital would be helpful getting her comfortable, and we fully agreed.

We’re here in the oncology unit of the hospital now (Nancy is in an inpatient hospice status). The pain medication makes Nancy extremely drowsy, and she’s been sleeping deeply most of the day. Nancy feels an additional sense of relief knowing that her nurses are constantly checking on her throughout the day and night…and especially knowing that her doctor will check in daily and is always a phone call away.

In the meantime, I’d like to re-iterate how appreciative we both are for the incredible support and love we feel. It takes many different forms: your cards and flowers, your kind words and hugs, your thoughts, and your prayers. Nancy’s doctor just visited us in the hospital room, and I joked with Nancy that the entire nursing unit couldn’t hold all the people who love and care deeply for her. Her doctor corrected me and told Nancy that the entire hospital couldn't fit the throngs of people who love her. Yet again, I think Nancy’s doctor is right.